I am a Kung Fu Master & Other Things to Avoid Saying When Applying for a Job

Today’s guest blogger is Sarah from East 9th Street.  She’s a full time working mama living in the Chicago area – a perfect person to post on what is a cold, snowy day here at my house. It’s also a great day for some LOLs.  Thanks Sarah!

For the last 15 years I have sifted through resume after resume looking for awesomesauce candidates to join my the various organizations I have worked for. The way applicants apply for jobs has definitely changed. No longer do they print their resumes on specially purchased resume paper and mail them in 9 x 13 manilla envelopes, instead they click reply, attach a document and push send. Any HR professional will tell you that while the quantity of applicants has increased, the quality has decreased.

Whenever I post a job opening, I know I’m going to get at least 100 resumes and of those 100, about 10 will be memorable. Not because they are qualified for the available job but because they have written something that makes me LOL.

Things to Avoid Saying/Doing When Applying For A Job

I am a kung fu master.  While I am sure you are the best kung fu master you can be, the MEDICAL ASSISTANT position I have available does not require one to break boards with their bare hands. You might want to think of a different subject line.

This is the good resume. Watch what you name your Word documents because you’ll set my expectations really high with a filename like that! If this is your “good” resume, what does your bad one look like? I just wonder because your “good” resume has at least 10 typos and grammatical errors.

LOL, I forgot the attachment. Trust me, I get it. I speak in acronyms and hashtags too, but typically, I only do this with my friends and family – not to a company that I would like to work for! Let’s just put aside the fact that you sent your email without the attachment, that I can forgive. But writing, “LOL, I forgot the attachment?” Well, I’m just SMH.

SexyGirl39493@crazyemailaddress.com. I’m sure you’ve been told over and over that you’re a sexy girl. Congrats, I hope to be told that one day too but that descriptive of an email address is probably not going to get you an interview. Unless you’re applying at Hooters. Or maybe a GoDaddy commercial?

Job Objective: To Get A Job. Wonderful! I’m glad there isn’t any confusion as to what your career goals are and let’s face it, you’re being honest.

So my advice to applicants? Send your good resume from your sexygirl email address without the attachment and let them know you’re a kung fu master who wants to get a job and can start ASAP. Trust me, your application will be memorable.

Sarah is a wanna-be DIYer who lives in the Chicago area with her spunky 3-year old daughter and her two crazy canines. Currently attending graduate school pursuing her MHA, she works FT in the healthcare industry. You can find her blogging about food, crafts and random topics at East9thStreet.com.

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