Motherhood: A Day in the Life #8 – Sherry

Across the Board, Wall-to-Wall and 24 hours with Teenagers!

I am pleased, happy, overwhelmed and completely blessed to be the mom of three boys, ages 15, 13 and 11.  I know that every family experiences the teenage years differently, as kids are different and family dynamics vary.  Even so, I think there are attributes among this age group that are universal.  It can be compared to a second bout of the terrible twos.

For both of my teenage boys, the change happened almost overnight as they turned 13.  They started getting smelly, sleeping late, and getting some pimples…ick.  The biggest bad thing about it is the attitude!  All I have to do is look at them and they say, “What?”, like you need to ask permission to look at them.  My once lovable cuddlebugs now cringe at the idea of mom giving them a hug.  It can become frustrating that activities that used to be fun, like hanging at the pool, is now “lame”.

Communication can be an issue. I think they actually strive to be uncomprehendable.   And, get ready for the most expensive years of your life:  Braces, lessons, clothes, a vehicle, food and lots of food, activities and education.  Letting go is hard, and trusting their judgement is hard.  They are learning independence, which is a really good thing. It is hard to give them more freedom to go with friends, friends that have drivers licenses.  A lot of the best lessons they learn are ones that come from mistakes and bad judgment.

Sounds depressing, doesn’t it?  There are some bright sides, and they are some really good bright sides!

They are growing!  Isn’t it always fun to watch something grow?  My 15 year old son, Noah, is already 5’8” tall…that’s three inches taller than me, and only three inches from being as tall as hubby!  It’s so neat to watch them turn into men, hearing their voices change and see boyish looks turn into manly features.  Another asset is that they are stronger!  Those chores that they always complained about, such as carrying in groceries, moving the laundry basket upstairs, or just carrying anything heavy is no longer a burden to them.  They might still complain, but its really not hard for them to do (and don’t let them tell you that it is!).  Teenagers, in theory, become more responsible.  There are places they want to go, things they want to do and people they want to meet.  This all is incentive to do what they need to do to keep mom and dad happy, and keep themselves out of trouble.  In the last year I have seen Noah become a gentleman, all those years of having to ask him to, “Please open the door,” or “Ladies first,” is finally paying off.  The thirteen year old, Caleb, has still yet to get on the other side of that, and the eleven year old, Nate, is still completely oblivious.  They are fun to talk to, too.  If they are in the mood for a real conversation, drop everything and engage in them.  They are still learning so much, even if they act like they know everything.  They still love and respect you, even if they wouldn’t say so, and they value your opinion and want to know your thoughts.

Some of the best conversations I have with Caleb is about apocalypse.  This is not my favorite subject, but, having all boys I have grown accustom to all kinds of boy topics.  If having deep discussion about what is the best weapon to have during a zombie apocalypse helps us bond and keeps us communicating, its darn well worth the trouble.  By the way, what would be worse, a zombie apocalypse, alien apocalypse or a robot apocalypse and why?

As I drove Noah to school the other day, we talked about things coming up, tests, grades and activities.  That can be an overwhelming conversation full of comments like, “why wasn’t I made aware of that?”, “Why did you not know that test was coming up?”, “Why didn’t you talk to your teacher about that?”, “I wish you would pay more attention.”  When I drove up to the school, our conversation had ended and without any thought I said goodbye and blurted out, “and I wish you would eat more!”  He looked at me kinda funny and got out of the jeep with his backpack.  We said, “bye,” and as he walked ahead he looked back and cracked a sideways smile at me.  As I pulled out of the parking lot, I shed a few tears.  Even though we are on totally different wavelengths, he gets me.  That little grin assured me that he knows I have to be “mom”.  That’s my job.  Our teenagers figuring it all out for themselves is their job.

Sherry Tucker keeps busy making custom cakes (check out SHERRYcakes on facebook) and gardening and homesteading, which she blogs about at Motherearthnews.com’s A Modern Missouri Homesteader. Sherry lives in Southwest Missouri with her family.  In her free time, she’s also a freelance Agricultural Writer!

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